The fitness industry can get a little crazy sometimes. Check out some of these weird fitness inventions. They are sure to make you laugh!
#1 Winner! The Dumbbell Phone
The art of useless Japanese inventions known as Chindogu brings us a dumbell attachment for the telephone! If you wish you were building biceps instead of sitting in your cubical this stupid fitness gadget might be the answer to all of your problems. Sure, you’ll look like a tool and everyone in the office will make fun of you. But that’s not as important as those giant 12-inch guns you can develop every time you pick up the phone. But wait, it gets better… We’ll even have one of our “personal fitness trainers” call you every hour on the hour. That’s eight workouts for every day you’re in the office.
(note: only works on retro model phones. Must order iPhone attachment separately)
#2 The Butane Powered Pogo Stick
Part pogostick, part jack hammer, this little bastard will have you shedding the pounds faster than you can say:
h-h-h-h-h-h-o-o-o-o-w-w-w-w d-d-d-oooo-oooo y-o-o-u-u m-m-m-m-m-a-a-k-k-k-e i-i-t s-s-s-s-t-o-o-o-o-p?
Gordon’s Pogo Stick was Patented in 1958. The connecting rod for the piston is the foot of the pogo stick. The bouncing action fires the spark plug after you hop on. All you have to do is fill the tank, turn on the switch, hop on and… call your nearest personal injury lawyer. According to Gordon Spitzmesser’s son Dick, “It ran on butane, but really jumped high when we once used a mixture of acetylene and oxygen!”
#3 Prosepra WeSurf Home Surfing Machine
This crazy exercise gadget is made for all of those guys out there who want a California surfer body but live in a trailer park in Omaha. Now you can get the muscle building, fat burning benefits of surfing from the comfort of your own living room! Bottle of hair bleach and puka-shell necklace sold separately.
#4 Acu Dots
Invented in the 70’s, ACUDOT Magnetic Analgesic Patches promised “temporary relief of occasional minor aches and pains of muscles and joints.” Acu Dots are just thin magnetic strips woven inside a bandage. Wrapping it around an injury or sore muscle is supposed to utilize the magnets’ “healing powers”. Yea right… How many times are people going to fall for the same old trick?
#5 Coin Operated Fitness Vending Machine
Another product of Japan, the coin-operated conbini fitness machine moves around under your feet. It’s supposed to strengthen your core muscles, improve balance and burn calories. We just think Japanese people are crazy. The cost? $4.00 for ten minutes. Hey cute Japanese Catholic school girl on the shaker machine thingy… I’ll walk beside you and try to trip your feet or push you over for half the price!
#6 Osim iGallop
You KNOW this fitness gadget was invented by a man (source)!
No one ever said fitness was supposed to make sense. However, some of these ideas are just plain crazy . It just goes to show you, it’s not what the product is but HOW it’s marketed that makes all the difference. So, next time your up at 2 in the morning watching weight loss infomercials; be careful what you order!
(CES, PES, CPT, BS)
Leave a Reply